Dear blog,
I've been super lazy these days , I don't know but I feel that my condition is getting worse and worse .. Don't know how I feel , don't know what to do ... I'm just stuck in these bold days !
It feels that I'm ruining my life with all my ridiculous behaviors and my stupid feelings toward people !! I'm just sick of All of that !!
I hate when my heart makes me do stupid things ! it just makes me feel like a completely idiot !!
it really drives me crazy ! literally CRAZY !
and I think it's because that .... I've .... fallen in love ....
I met this person who's I'm seeing as my friend/big bro and I just ...... liked him ! without any expectations !! like I wasn't interested on him at all and then BOOM I'M IN LOVE !! WTF !!
we've chat several times and we got to know a little bit about each other but... I'm afraid that he's using me like a toy ! that he'll chat with me only when he's bored ! that he doesn't give a f**k about me ! that he thinks I'm annoying ! that he thinks I'm just another stupid weird girl !
but.. when we chat , he makes me feel like he's interested on me/ has feelings for me even though he said that he sees me as his lil sister !! but he still say these words that makes me feel the opposite !
all of that makes me go crazy !!
I just can't ignore it.. and I can't stop thinking about it .. I'm not sure if I'm doing all of that just to feel like I'm in love or something like that ...
it just My pride , It's on the edge of being destroyed/stepped on ..
I just ... don't know anymore !!
............
what the heck am I saying ?! seriously ! what's wrong with me ?!
I think I'll just forget about him ! I'm just sick of crushing all over the place !!
just.... ... I don't care !
It'll just gonna hurt me more and more and make me get worse !
just f**k it !
I'm done with that !
I've been super lazy these days , I don't know but I feel that my condition is getting worse and worse .. Don't know how I feel , don't know what to do ... I'm just stuck in these bold days !
It feels that I'm ruining my life with all my ridiculous behaviors and my stupid feelings toward people !! I'm just sick of All of that !!
I hate when my heart makes me do stupid things ! it just makes me feel like a completely idiot !!
it really drives me crazy ! literally CRAZY !
and I think it's because that .... I've .... fallen in love ....
I met this person who's I'm seeing as my friend/big bro and I just ...... liked him ! without any expectations !! like I wasn't interested on him at all and then BOOM I'M IN LOVE !! WTF !!
we've chat several times and we got to know a little bit about each other but... I'm afraid that he's using me like a toy ! that he'll chat with me only when he's bored ! that he doesn't give a f**k about me ! that he thinks I'm annoying ! that he thinks I'm just another stupid weird girl !
but.. when we chat , he makes me feel like he's interested on me/ has feelings for me even though he said that he sees me as his lil sister !! but he still say these words that makes me feel the opposite !
all of that makes me go crazy !!
I just can't ignore it.. and I can't stop thinking about it .. I'm not sure if I'm doing all of that just to feel like I'm in love or something like that ...
it just My pride , It's on the edge of being destroyed/stepped on ..
I just ... don't know anymore !!
............
what the heck am I saying ?! seriously ! what's wrong with me ?!
I think I'll just forget about him ! I'm just sick of crushing all over the place !!
just.... ... I don't care !
It'll just gonna hurt me more and more and make me get worse !
just f**k it !
I'm done with that !
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