One fucking year and five months !!

Dear blog,


I ..... don't know wht to say to be honest hhhhhhh it's been a long fucking time!!! 
I mean really ONE YEAR AND 5 MONTHS !! daaamn !

I dunno why i guess i felt sick of writing? maybe. It's just I'm a really lazy person lol nd I admit it !

A LOT of shit happened in my life throughout the period i've been away from u !
hmmm where to start ??
Gosh ! i'm just gonna say wht popps in my mind !
ok so we went to the Philippines in the last summer holiday ! and it was AWESOME ! I loved it there so much ! i didn'tt want to return to Oman to be honest :( but wht to do. we also went to Thailand which was superrrrrrrrrrrr AMAZING literally !! i really mean it ! I kinda forget that we're here for a holiday lol the places there were so awsome ! ofc full of shopping stores ! let alone the night life !!!!!!!! I really wanna go back there :( maybe next year?

the sad part of our trip was the death of my grandmother. she passed away at our last day in the Philippines nd that made it even worse ! it was so horrible to see my mom in that miserable condition.
may she rest in peace.

the moment we returned to Oman, I was still in my "Travel mode" lol I wasn't ready to let go their lifestyle. so I decided to do wht i wanna do here too.
the trip really made me embrace the fact I'm half Filipino nd Omani. tbh before, I didn't like it whn people ask me if i was Omani or not because of my face *I take a lot of my mom's side*

but after the trip, I loved myself!! I thanked god for being half Filipino. really! I was proud of myself. so I decided to represent myself in other way, as a Half Filipino and Half Omani! I wanted everyone to know from where I am. I didn't care of wht people are gonna say. so I changed my clothes. tbh abayas were bothering me when I go to college plus they were boring nd they didn't represent any of me.  
so I started wearing long black skirts with different tops each day just to not make it boring. :P
of course, people stared at me whn i wore that for the first time and I was hesitating abt it but I was like fuck them! amma wear wht I wanna wear nd screw everyone!!

some of the girls started talking behind my back but actually they were saying some nice stuff abt my new "appearance" lol. how did I know? my roommate heard them gossiping hhhhhh

anyhow now college is wayyyyy more fun :) cuz I finally changed my goddamn major !!!! I dunno if I told u before abt it XD
but yeah I'm officially in college of Engineering !!! hell yeah baby !!

I'm already tired from writing lol sorry.
I'll talk abt the rest tomorrow insha'alla :D I really hope tho lol
cuz I still have A LOT to write nd this post is getting way too long hhhhh

so yeah 
hasta la vista bitchos <3



  

Another normal day !!

Dear blog,

*sigh* .. Yeah just another regular day .. 

I'm actually on a holiday now for 3 weeks yay !! Yeah !! 3 weeks off from college and its stuff !! And the 1st week of it is almost finished .. 

mmm ... Let me summarize what I've done in it .. 

Thinking about it , I've only went to Al Ain 😂😂😂 . Hahaha ..

Yeah so I went to Al Ain . Done some shopping ( lots and LOTS of clothes ) in Al bawadi mall ❤️ ..

I also went to buy a new glasses In Al jimi mall ( medical ) cuz my old one is broke !! Yup .. My aunt is working there so she made some discounts for me hehehehe .. Family power !!!! Lol

What else ..? Mmmmm

Oh and I bought an iPhone 5s yeahhh !!! Kkkkk ! I really suffered to get the one that I wanted which is the silver with 32GB .. 

Luckily, I've found one -and it was the last piece- in Al bawadi .. Yeah thank god !! 

I'm so in love with it 😁😍 !!

Yeahhh and .. I think that's all .. Yup 

Nothing to add more

Looking forward for my 2nd week of the holiday 😁😊 

Xoxo

Bashayer 

Am I in Love ?!

Dear blog,




I've been super lazy these days , I don't know but I feel that my condition is getting worse and worse .. Don't know how I feel , don't know what to do ... I'm just stuck in these bold days !

It feels that I'm ruining my life with all my ridiculous behaviors and my stupid feelings toward people !! I'm just sick of All of that !!

I hate when my heart makes me do stupid things ! it just makes me feel like a completely idiot !!

it really drives me crazy ! literally CRAZY !

and I think it's because that .... I've ....  fallen in love ....

I met this person who's I'm seeing as my friend/big bro and I just ...... liked him ! without any expectations !! like I wasn't interested on him at all and then BOOM I'M IN LOVE !! WTF !!

we've chat several times and we got to know a little bit about each other but... I'm afraid that he's using me like a toy ! that he'll chat with me only when he's bored ! that he doesn't give a f**k about me ! that he thinks I'm annoying ! that he thinks I'm just another stupid weird girl !

but.. when we chat , he makes me feel like he's interested on me/ has feelings for me even though he said that he sees me as his lil sister !! but he still say these words that makes me feel the opposite !

all of that makes me go crazy !!

I just can't ignore it.. and I can't stop thinking about it .. I'm not sure if I'm doing all of that just to feel like I'm in love or something like that ...

it just My pride , It's on the edge of being destroyed/stepped on ..

I just ... don't know anymore !!
............

what the heck am I saying ?! seriously ! what's wrong with me ?!



I think I'll just forget about him ! I'm just sick of crushing all over the place  !!
just.... ... I don't care !
It'll just gonna hurt me more and more and make me get worse !


just f**k it !




I'm done with that !








  

Ahhh College life,boys,people and Me !

Dear blog ,



How are you ?? ( what kind of questions is that loool XD )
well I wanted to write or update you about my life here in College .

I'm just ............ tired from all this SHIT !! 
sorry for the bad words ..I've been in a hard times these days because of the mid-terms ,my grades ,people here !
I'm just stressed from all of that !!

*sigh*

Anyway , what a great introduction for this post ..
what am I doing these days ?
studying .. Kind of ..

I'm trying to study but the conditions around me does not help me at all !
 PEOPLE, BOYS,LOUDLY ROOMMATES,LONELINESS,SECRET CRUSH !!!!!!!!
all of that :(

I started hating boys because of their attitude towards not only me but towards all the girls !
They are just EMOTIONLESS ,RUDE and IMMATURE !!
Don't they know that we - girls- are super sensitive !
just........... I don't freakin know how they live their lives ..
that's the reason why I love and respect foreigners .. they are truly gentlemen ..
( of course not all of them )

Anyhow , *sigh * 
I think that I should look at the bright side . Like , I finally finished high school and all that crap . Plus college life is kind of fun if u compared it to school .. 

yup I think that I should just be positive and try to overcome those shits ..


FIGHTING ~! 







" Life is great without a care "   - Lorde .

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE !!! I missed my blog 보고 싶었어 T___T

Dear my AWESOME blog !! ,

I'm really REALLY sorry for not writing far A WHILE !! I AM really sorry ..No, It's not because school lol .. I have a new excuse now hehehe It's because the collage ! yup .. 

You know the feeling of being in a completely new place without knowing anything or anyone !! yup it's the worst feeling ever T____T .. That was the feeling that I felt when I entered SQU ( Sultan Qaboos University ) .. 

What made that feeling even worse is that I expected A LOT of things or let's say DIFFERENT things at SQU .. And as they say " Higher expectations , big disappointments " *sigh * الحمدلله على كل حال  .. that's all I can say >___< 

Anyway , as the days passes , I started to get use to the place here ! Before I was completely like a LOST puppy lol .. But now I know where to go ,where's this place and where's that !!

Thank god ^^

Not to mention the studying and being in a class with boys and encountering lots of boys .. That's just TOO much for me .. to be honest I'm afraid form boys especially THAT kind of boys * you know* and from the seniors (both boys and girls) .. They look soooo scary O__O

Also I'm not used of seeing boys with " Kumma" "الكمة" .. because in our city boys don't wear it ! instead they wear "ghutrah" "الغترة" .. So it was awkward for me >___<

One important point is ....being  HOMESICK !! yes , because of that I always cry here especially before I go to bed .. ahhh I just miss my family and my friends , even though that I return every weekend to Al buraimi ..but still , being alone here hurts so much .. but I'm getting used to it right now .. It's been 2 months now since I started my collage year and I still have LOTS of years to go !! ahhhhhhhhhhhh !! ..  الله كريم 

So Is this enough for toady .. this weekend I stayed in Muscat .. I didn't return because I have a workshop in the ETS ( English and translating society ) I guess ~ And it's my first university club that I join !!!! YEAH !! ( working in getting rid of my compulsive shyness  hehehe ^^) .. 

That's all for today ! I hope and I really hope that I don't forget to update and write in my blog ^o^ I have many things to write but now I should go study . I have 2 mid-term exams next week =___= wish me luck ^^

xoxo